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PHIL LOSSIFER
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For many years I've heard 'bout global warmin', which is supposedly caused by various pollutants. Here's where the rub comes in, no one kin agree what global warmin' is, how dangerous.
First off, if y' wanna control global warmin', plant more trees. Trees ain't s'posed t' be part of the ecological cycle, but they are. Trees take nutrients from the ground an' air pollution, converts it inta wood, water an' oxygen as part of its life cycle. Rain forests in Brazil an' elsewhere are bein' cut down t' the point where satellites kin show the devastation from space. How can y' see global changes? Look in yer own back yard first, the t' the sky. How many clear days are there t'day? Not many, there's always a slight haze in the air, rarely is the sky clear. Storm intensity is increasin', as northern areas gittin' more intense rain showers. Rain comes down in torrents more often than it usta. Some areas sufferin' extreme drought, ever wonder why? Glacier ice caps're meltin', bigger icebergs formin' in North and South Atlantic. Blue traffic interstate signs turn color, sometimes within one or two years, which tells ultraviolet rays are increasin'. Earth is nothin' more than simple chemistry. When chemical reactions heat up the intensity of reaction increases. Sun rays are becomin' more dangerous, cancer producin' accordin' t' experts.
No matter how y' cut this issue, there's experts on both sides sayin' is or isn't happenin'. How can they dispute it? Simple, it's like ever other problem in this world, how much it'll cost, how many industries'll go belly up, an' how many votes will it cost or reduction in campaign contributions from conglomerates. They don't really care if world burns or not long as stockholders are happy! But, there's ways, simple ways t' start reducin' global warmin'.
Rub is where do we get trees? Simple, young trees are growin' in forests, most or 'em poorly because they cain't git right nutrients an' sunlight. Harvest 'em outta there, plant 'em in nearest empty field, let 'em grow. What's suggested is rebuildin' rain forests at least throughout America. Simple, but:
Catch is who'll profit or receive tax breaks so's campaign contributions will reach legislators? This is where lobbyists come in. Trees'll be grown on farms taken from landowners under new Supreme Court decision sayin' man's home ain't his castle. Wealthy stockholders an' elitists'll be happy, an' legislators'll git campaign contributions which'll keep 'em in office.
This article is satirical in nature, but isn't funny, because the real reason our world is facin' problems is profiteers have cashed out our environment. An' govmint leaders don't have the gumption t' do anythin' about it. Will it change? Will our leaders find alternate energy sources? Stay tuned, don't expect much. Until conglomerates kin profit, an' politicians kin git contributions there'll never be an answer. Because that's the American way. Never nuff sed, nor will there ever be.
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