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LAURA ON LIFE
Dancing
Dancing is a popular pastime in our house. However, the dances that are performed by the members of my family generally do not occur because there is music playing somewhere. I'm talking about spontaneous boogying with no discernable cause. Sometimes it occurs because one of my children is supremely happy about something: We're taking a trip somewhere. The school bully got sent to the office. We're having something for dinner tonight that they can actually choke down without too much effort. Things like that. Kids are easy to please…sometimes. Anyway, when one of those kinds of events happens, you can see them doing some type of made up dance that includes jumping up and down, knees sliding back and forth, and much arm flailing.
My nine-year-old is usually inclined to add comical facial expressions to his repertoire of dances. It looks more like the Monster Mash. My daughter will be shaking her booty like a mini Britney Spears and posturing like she's waiting for a talent scout to appear. Sometimes, though, she takes the more classical approach and slowly twirls and dips and falls down like a drunken ballerina. Even when she falls, she'll stick an arm gracefully up in the air as if that was supposed to happen. If you're still not convinced, she'll stick a leg up there, too. My seventeen-year old is 6 feet 5 inches tall and lanky. If he takes it into his head to dance, you'd better be sure that all the breakables are cleared out of the room, because he's got range! His dance most closely resembles a football player who has just scored a touchdown. We call this the "End Zone Dance". My oldest son used to dance as crazy as my nine-year old when he was younger. He's become more refined as the years passed, however, and now his dances are confined to a small area close to his body where he does the Gopher-Dance from Caddy Shack. You can tell he's really happy when he does this, however, because he doesn't do it often. If he does, you can bet it's because mashed potatoes is on the menu or a girl just said yes.
My youngest is still being toilet-trained. So he does what we call the pee-pee dance. You know what that is, right? It's that funny two-step on tippy-toes when he's totally engrossed in some other activity and doesn't want to be bothered with something as mundane as emptying his bladder into the toilet. It's as if he thinks dancing will help curb the impulse. My sister is starting to toilet train her daughter, who is only about 18 months old, so she doesn't see the pee-pee dance yet. It is amazing to me the difference between her training and mine, however. She has this cute little potty chair that will play a little song for the "depositor" as a reward. I've been training for so long now, that I'm considering shock therapy. Just kidding. Though there's probably a market for toilet training with shock therapy, just imagine trying to advertise that: "Simply place the electronic sensor in your child's underwear. If the sensor detects moisture, the device will send 40,000 volts through your child's genitals. Your child will then be immediately toilet trained!" Um… I think we'll pass on that and do it the hard way. But it sure would provide some interesting dances.
Laura Snyder may be reached at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or check her website www.lauraonlife.com for archived columns
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