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LAURA ON LIFE
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Love is such an overused word these days. You can love your kids, your parents, your best friend, your dog, and even your job. If you can "love" all of these things, when your spouse says they love you, it could mean anything from, "Dinner was great" to "Thanks for letting me go bowling tonight without putting up too much of a fight."
How would you really know if they were telling the truth? My husband tells me he loves me all the time. It never gets old, but at the same time it may not mean love in the literal sense all the time or even any of the times. Many wives will tell me I'm lucky because their husbands never mention the L-word because he thinks it makes him less of a man. While others don't say it because it doesn't correctly express the depth of feeling they are having. Let's face it, if a man will tell his dog "I love you, Poochy" , he can't in all good conscious turn around and tell his wife "I love you" because she may feel slightly confused by that. However, she could ask some pertinent questions…
"So, okay, if Poochy and I were trapped in a house that was on fire, who would you save first?"
If he has to think about that, you are in trouble. "Well, honey, the firemen would save you, but who would save Poochy?" ….Strike one!
"But what if there are no firemen at the scene?"
"Honey, you know you are smarter than Poochy. You could find your own way out faster than Poochy."….Strike Two!
"But what if I was trapped in a closet or something."
"Well, then, I think you would be safe for a little while, just until I found Poochy and got him out."…Strike Three!
"But what if the closet was in the same room as the fire?"
"Let's be realistic, honey, I love you. But if you're trapped in a closet in the room that's on fire, you're toast anyway. What sense is there in me getting all burned up trying to rescue a dead person? Who would take care of Poochy? "…And he's OUTTA THERE!
The surest way to find out if your husband or wife loves you is by their actions. What are they willing to do that you know has absolutely nothing in it for them? Something they do just because they love you.
Sometimes when I am busily typing away at my computer, my husband will bring me milk and chocolate chip cookies, which are my favorite. That's love.
Sometimes, when he falls asleep on the sofa in front of the TV, I will bring a soft, warm blanket and cover him with it. That's love.
Sometimes he will suffer through a romantic comedy just so he can see a movie with me. And I will suffer through yet another rerun of Survivorman just so I can watch TV with him. That's love.
But one of the largest expressions of love I've ever seen from a man happened at a time some years ago when we were in a room full of people. I had an acute attack of gas and accidentally emitted a sound that is not normally supposed to be heard except behind closed doors or within hearing range of a whoopee cushion. Needless to say, a whoopee cushion was not present. Before I even had the chance to turn beet-red, my husband, my hero, saw the panic in my eyes and simply said "Excuse me", thereby staking claim to that inexcusable faux pas. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Laura Snyder may be reached at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com
Or check her website www.lauraonlife.com for archived columns
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